Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
