im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
