do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
