I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
