That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
