just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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