real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
