FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize