Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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