But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
