I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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