Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
