Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
