I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Green mimosas i think yes
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
