Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
