I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
