I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he was CRYING into my vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
