I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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