so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
nutella sex= disaster
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
