turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
