Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
