After last night, I could never be a politician.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize