This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
