Having a random hookup so left but love u
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
