did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize