no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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