Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
