Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
