Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
