Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
