Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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