Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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