The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
