Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
