whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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