So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
