i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
