Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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