I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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