Say something about gay babies.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
