id be glad to
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
