Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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