i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
