Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You're like the curious george of whores
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
