operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
