I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
