I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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