Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I will die if light touches me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
