Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
