i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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