I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
