saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
