My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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