There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
