I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think my tv is drunk
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
