dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
