well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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