I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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