it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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